NORTH VS. SOUTH

Discussion Archive 03: Message Archive 224: NORTH VS. SOUTH

The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses
The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.
The North has double last names, The South has double first names.
The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.
The North has green salads, The South has collard greens
The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads.
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH -----------
In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a
four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live
for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
store ... do not buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is
plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use
it.
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't
understand you either.
The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted
Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy.
Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of
them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer
proper. Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay
out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the
smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local
grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just
have to go there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they
are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is
to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think
we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in
the oven, we still wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
Have a good day! Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I
reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it.

LOL...oh windy, you are in fine form tonight.

Very good WB...I'm 'fixin' to start bein' Southern.

MM

i think my favorites are:

"Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here."

and..

"AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in
the oven, we still wouldn't call 'em biscuits."

haha fixin...good one mm.... you do know a bit then...

I know the basics, babe, care to give me the short course?

MM

that boat of yours looks like good training ground!

sort of a Yankee Clipper eh?

MM

yeah..would have to be one time i didn't use damn with the word yankee

.......and that's why I live in Texas.

WB: I heard that the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee is that a Yankee goes south to visit...and a Damn Yankee stays!

MM

haha yes...

yes..and what is that one about yankee's and hemorrhoids??? damn...i'll think of it!

hubby says we have a mixed marriage- He is a southern boy and I am a damn yankee.

Careful, this Yankee skipper can keelhaul you, if you don't salute and say Aye aye, hehe

MM

anyone north of interstate 10 is a yankee!.....

Wow, snooper, that's cold. LOL

MM

LOL Wind, that is cute. Guess they could read Lewis Gizzards books. That would give them an idea of the south. Nah that would screw up anyone.

yeah and it will probably get my ass flamed alittle. LOL

thats pretty ugly.nobody told you to set there and type that

i miss shoneys

lmfao windy......damn hey I married a southern girl this time and things are working out fine...miss shoney's too...they closed down the one in Gulfport....what the hell were they thinkin'? Now hold the phone there snooper...I'm just a few hundred yards north of I-10 maybe, kinda....a little...sorta

definition of a Yankee--- its like a quickie only you do it to yourself.

Windblown, great post.
Hats off from a Yankee that loves the south.
Now, can you explain why southerners are always "reckon" and "fixin"?
Thanks. RU

Hey, one Yankee label not mentioned but used in this part of SC and that is SWAMP YANKEE.

Swamp Yankee is one who moved to FL could not take the heat and moved here as a mid point for relief.
We are Damned Yankee's

My brother is a damn Yankee and his answer for you RU is that Southerners always reckon its time to be fixin to shoot the damn yankees.

Of course I love this windy! I will try and find something my cousin in Alabama forwarded. In reference to Football in the South and Football in the North. Thanks for making me smile first thing this am.

Rofl everyone, glad you enjoyed! I know the one you are thinking about Baby J..always cracks me up.

RU-I think buzard explained it pretty well. Thanks for taking this in the humor it was intended. well maybe sorta...kinda

thumper, my sweeties ex was a yankee too..he says what was i thinkin?

Well at least we havin prencebles down here. We have one in almost every school,and thay teach us the 3 r,s reading,riten and rut. 31 north see u thir.

Being from Maryland, I've discovered that whether or not I'm truly "Southern" depends a lot on what part of the United States I happen to be standing on at the time. Growing up, I never considered myself "southern", that was folks from Virginia, the Carolinas and farther on down. When I moved to California, I realized that I was a lot more "southern" than I'd imagined. We ARE south of the Mason Dixon line, after all.

And besides, Mama was from Louisville.

i never really thought of texan's as southern...i always just thought of them as texans....

snooper, them there people in Dallas are gonna open a can of whoopass on ya for that I 10 thang. They's about 10 miles north ov it.

Funny, the first Southern I learned on the web was 'prolly'. This from a Southern boy... Southern Ontario.

Attention northerners; in the south we do not drink "pop". Anybody who mentions the word "pop" when discussing a carbonated beverage will immediately be charged double.

Also, when shopping do not refer to the shopping cart as a "carriage". It is a "buggy". Anybody who calls a "buggy" a "carriage" will immediately be charged double.

Also, the corn field is NOT on fire. Do not call the authorities. Down here we grow something called sugar cane. Check into it.

Down here in Houston, I have heard the old saying Anyone from up north of Dallas is in fact a yankee according to the Mason-Dixon line. Of course that don't fly well with most......

A favorite come-back from decades ago-
(so don't imply any 9/11 sick humor)

"We ain't stupid down here. We sent men to the moon from Florida. Last time they tried to launch somebody outta New York, they ended up in.... New Jersey."

Great, Wind..please do not forget that great "catch-all" phrase my wife likes to point out that we use also: "Or somethin' like that". Used when you just cannot fully describe an event or situation and just can't shut up...

rofl redbeard! the southernism's just keep on popping up! with ya on the pop thing thorax!

in my part of the south..every thing is "coke"
what kinda coke do you want?

too funny, thorax. My sister recently moved to Michigan....can't relate to everyone selling "pop". there's a few more things she quotes about the lingo!

Don't anyone take offense-this is just a joke. The board seems a little touchy lately.......

Three things a southerner fears:
1. A Texan with a gun
2. A mexican with a knife
3. A Yankee with a u-haul

rofl bob...so true!

hahahaha......no ••••

Welcome to Texas...now get the fuck out.

Windblown....you said...*yes..and what is that one about yankee's and hemorrhoids??? damn...i'll think of it!*

What does a yankee and a hemorrhoid have in common....they are both pain's in the ass..*smile*

Sooooo I reckon I need to go now...I'mmm fixin to go play Betty Crocker.....the Owl is prolly hungry abt now...catch Ya'llllll laterssssss ........*gigglin...*

My favorite was "If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say."
I think there might be some truth in those words. ;>)

haha thanks tease...one would think i would have remembered that!

Reckon you'd best buckle that seatbelt up, I'm fixin' to show you sumpin'