Non-Intimate Marriage

Since the summer months I've had sex 3 times with my wife. I have tried to get her into the bed for sex 100s of times, but there's always an excuse to not take it any further. She's way past menopause, never really affected her sex drive, but since last summer she never ever suggests having sex and does the end-run around it every time it's suggested.
Would you suspect there's a lover, out there, who's satisfying her needs? I'm confused. Any help is appreciated. I'm tired of rosy palm and her sisters.

She sounds like a woman who has lost interest in sex. After my second wife cut me off, and yes she told me, I turned to providers to fill the void.

It could be YOU! Either you did something, or didn't do something, or just became boring!

Try dating her again!!

Leo, I have done the dating thing again, I've spent triple the time on her when having the 3 sessions of sex, but no increase in desire. I'm thinking about finding others for satisfaction.

Check her panties is she home late is she dressing diffrent keeps her phone close by.
Maybe she has a lover .
Would it be that bad if she has.

Why don’t you ask her?

Maybe she doesn't enjoy sex anymore.

It sounds as though she may take notice if you stop asking for it (more obvious if she interprets your interest as "hounding" her for it).

If you focus on yourself and perhaps self improvement and reduce your pursuit of her sexual attention, you might see a change in her behavior.

IMHO there is some truth to the concept that a men's constant offering of sexual attention to women, devalues the concept. Throughout their lives, most women are on the receiving end of lots of indications of sexual interest.

Perhaps less is more in this instance. Otherwise at least her curiosity will be aroused given your removal of pursuit.

My wife has decided to stop drinking and it has definitely slowed things down. Alcohol has always been the lubricant that got her juices flowing. But right now I'm giving her the space she needs to get through it.

I think the knowing that sex is readily available at any time makes it easier to not have sex. (does that make sense?)

But, I can definitely tell you all that the phrase: "If you don't use it, you lose it!" is a sad reality!!

Leo nailed it !!!
Start DATING your wife again!!!
romance her, not just for sex for a better life overall!!!

Guys if your close I'd be happy to give
Mind blowing GUMJOB.
336/828 AREA. WILKESBORO NC

Get professional help this will give both the opportunity to have a neutral party listen to both of you with honest and open conversation about what is going on. You both need to hear what the other has to say and start working towards a solution. Every has opinion's but and some may work but as I found a mediator is the best path to take.

And you think you will get legitimate advice here……

biformmf, I have never hounded her for it, asking nicely once or twice a month can't be wrong if the couple is in love and wants intimacy.

"And you think you will get legitimate advice here……"

A lot of people here have given great advice over the years.

When folks are recommending talking to her about it, they may be asking if you have gone beyond just asking for more than just more sex.

Communication is extremely important. What are her feelings regarding intimacy? Maybe you need to know if you want to continue as a couple. You don’t want something like this to build and turn into resentment.

As a side note the assumption she has a lover is kind of odd without context. Is there a history of it in the past? Have you cheated? Just asking because more often than not folks in this situation project things.

We're a mature couple. My thinking is if she has a lover she would still want to have sex with you just to keep you from becoming suspicious. Perhaps, over time the affects of menopause has kicked in a lot more than before. Perhaps she's going thru some depression. What meds does she take? That can cause issues. One other thing. When women get older they tend to think they're not attractive to anyone and they don't feel good about themselves. Family pressure also kills the mood.

Go on a date night when you're not celebrating anything. Try to talk her into dressing nice, maybe help her buy a nice outfit. Show her a lot of attention and see what happens. If nothing helps have a long talk with her. After that, seek medical advice. Maybe her hormones are whacky.

Thanks for the clarity lake.

In my experience (and I've picked some winners for sure) asking for intimacy NEVER had good results for me at any age.

Over time it became apparent to me that "asking" is negotiating. I think this holds for all couples, married or otherwise in a relationship.

The best results IMHO come only from desire, which isn't negotiable. Aging, and resulting hormonal changes are impactful on desire for sure but shouldn't kill it completely.

Perhaps talking through it will generate some positive results but there are so many stories reporting that talking it out doesn't help that I'm skeptical.

So whats left is our (men's) burden of performance to be desirable. Which, unfortunately is a lot deeper than being nice, buying flowers, and telling her how sexy she is.

It will be 14 years in July since last sex with my wife. After her total hysterectomy it all went to hell. Took about 4 years to totally dry up. Now she has several female health conditions that preclude sex. But I marries for better or worse, sickness and health. Lots of jerking off.

Look up vaginal atrophy.....

She has an affair going on the side. Been there and experienced that.

We have an appointment with our doctor next Tuesday. I'm also going in to discuss the issue.
One surprise offer was made yesterday afternoon when I received a text from a 45 year-old I'd met 3 years ago. She offered sex, and if I wanted to, I could come to her house Monday night at 7:30. Guess what? I went and she was as horny as I was. I got back home at 9:30, fully drained, and fully satisfied. She really likes backdoor sex, so I didn't leave her wanting. So far, so good.

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