Do relationships kill sex lives?

I know I'm going to get people responding saying oh no my wife and I have a great sex life. I'm not saying this is an absolute that just being in a relationship kills a sex life but after being on this website for several years now, and chatting with many many husbands and even chatting with gay men, everyone seems to be in a relationship without good sex or enough sex or sex at all. I mean just in general you would think two gay men would have a great sex life cuz men are horny dogs and always want sex but as I said I've talked to gay men in relationships complaining about their sex life or the fact that they're cheating on their partner.

So that just got me thinking does being in a relationship kill your sex life? Look I know there's so many factors people get lazy, we get complacent, lack of communication, we don't open up to our partner about our needs. I understand all those things because I've experienced those things as well.

But it still leads me to does being in a relationship diminish or kill your sex life?

The fact that we're all here because we like the idea of other wives, or there are people here who are in the lifestyle if that's what you want to call it or do the whole hot wife sharing thing kind of prove the point? If things are so great why did you move into this life? I've been in the lifestyle as well for the past 4 years. I've had much more sex outside my primary relationship than inside of it. And having sex with all the romantic relationship baggage has been fantastic. But does that also cause you to become colder in your relationships in general? Maybe that's a little off topic but I'm just trying to throw in as many variables to this question as possible.

Look forward to reading everyone's responses. If you email me I will respond when I have the opportunity.

Guess it all depends upon your relationship.
Maybe you're just chatting to people with failed relationships.

The answer is yes. Familiarity breeds contempt. Humans crave novelty. We get bored, complacent and dissatisfied all too easily.

Male sex drive and female attractiveness overrides this conundrum.

If you boost a women's testosterone 18x (up to a man's level) they'll be ripping your clothes off every day of the week...

I'd be willing to bet the farm that gay married men, on average, still have sex more frequently than the average straight married couple, regardless of relationship monotony.

Colwyn34. Good analysis.

My wife was far from being a virgin when we married, did not matter to me, I was not either. 8 months after we married, I was drafted and went to Army for almost 3 years. First time home on leave, my best Buddy tell me he thinks she is fucking around. I confronted her, she admitted to it, she needed sex. We decided to have open marriage, no bareback and I did same for that time. I get out, we have family, buy house have kids after third Doc said no more Tubes tied. She was happy! Over the years we swapped with others, she and I both had others, she would give me details, all she wanted from me, was Who? and was it better? 50 plus years it worked for us! OH, one other thing after watching the movie Linda Lovelace she became very proficient at it some of my friends have said the best!

Yes, the wife being in a relationship with her last lover killed our sex life the last year of our relationship, they wanted to be exclusive with each other. The weird thing was she told me he wasn’t as good in bed as me but it also had something to do with $. Our sex life was incredible until that final year.

IMHO, non-committal sex is empty. Sure the actual act can put a person over the top but once done there is nothing to hold on to.... just heading home on your own.

BUT what most couples forget is a great relationship takes A LOT of work. Which over years of raising family, work stress, keeping a house running smooth, ect takes it's toll on the basic relationship.

Thus why the couple need to do things to keep or bring back the spark. Take a night/weekend alone, make a day/evening "date night" and do special things like when courting. Talk and LISTEN(not just hear the words but really LISTEN to each other and be willing to make changes).

If all that ^ doesn't get things going, seek a marriage counselor or look into one of the marriage encounter programs.

Wedding cake kills a woman’s sex drive.

Beercan said it lol

I absolutely agree a relationship kills sex life at least with couple involved. 2 examples and one made it to wedding cake the other was the engagement ring. Engagement ring chick suddenly "had a low sex drive" and wasnt in the mood. Wed go weeks and months of nothing physical at all. Come to find out some of that may have been due to her cheating and fucking a manager of hers (no proof just suspicion. The other is my current wife and same thing was great then engagement and sex decreased (shouldve been sign) then wedding and 10 years later well go weeks and months without sex. Its good when it happens it just isn't nearly enough. And due to that i visit sites and have increased my fantasy list to a level i know likely will never happen due to her vanillaness about sex.

As smw3 said. It depends on who you talk to. We've been married for 46 years. In fact, 46 years today. We have a strong relationship with the typical ups and downs. Our sex life has always been good. We always try to make it interesting by doing different things in bed and even in public.

I think couples get tired of the same thing when it comes to sex. They get into a rut. I also think a woman wants more from a relationship instead of just cum in her pussy. This is why they cheat. Couples swap/swing because they try to spice things up. We swapped once and once was enough for us. This will piss off most guys, but I think most men are selfish. They'll f&ck their wife or girlfriend, blow their nuts, and that's it. Give her two good orgasms and then get yours. You don't want to leave her laying there thinking she wasted her time. Men tend to think all a woman needs is a big fat cock between their legs and she'll be happy.

As far as gay relationships go. They also cheat, have divorces, and splits. I once read an article about lesbians split up more than male/female couples.

Like the old saying goes. Ya got married to get cut off

Not sure it's the relationship, but along comes menopause.

Wedding cake kills sex lives.

Sex within your relationship is predictable. If it's like most couples, it will eventually settle into a routine. It's not bad, it's just not exciting anymore so it becomes rather boring. A good experience but it has lost it's novelty. Neither partner is particularly willing to explore things that would or could make it different. It would take some effort and it may cause a rift. As long as there is a warmness to it, let that dog lie.

As far as sex with others, you're not dealing with their mortgage, their problem with the next door neighbor, their kid's braces, etc. so it's just fun sex without baggage.

I agree with bonefand2. When you have an affair there aren't the problems like, money, children, work issues,etc. Also when you're having an affair you only show your best side. You dress well, you are perfectly groomed and if you're a woman you have your makeup done, you wear sexy clothes instead of and old tee shirt, etc.

Wow, married over 35 years, sexlife has improved every year. Marriage is a choice, which takes work. You get out exactly what you put in and only what you deserve.

Hang in there, scjohnny. At that point in our marriage, we were still having fun and getting it on regularly too. I hope your wife is one of the lucky ones that makes it "through" menopause instead of slamming the wall head on. It's not fun to watch what it has done to her.

@scjohnny There's always someone like you every time this comes up. Listen... You don't fuck any better, work any harder, do more dishes, buy more roses, pay more bills, etc., than all the men whose sex life is suffering or non-existent.

You got lucky, end of story.

I don't disagree with you gentlemen, I am very lucky, but I have to tell you that you can also improve your odds. A lot of women tell me that their mates just forget two very things, especially older guys. They don't listen or pay attention any more, and second they have awful hygiene.

I do, always have, I'm well groomed and ultra clean. Neither of us saw it coming. It just spiraled out from under us despite all her effort to keep it going. We're in good shape and still love one another. It's just that you can't will it to return. She has given me a hall pass but it would break her heart to find out I used it. I can't do that to her. You are just lucky.

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