getting her to try sharing (repost)

I was often asked how I got wife into the swing/sharing world. First, I think there is no magic answer. It is different for every woman or couple. For us, to really understand, you even need to go back to before we even met, some of the relations she had before which ended up helping me in this quest. But not for that, right now.
So, I had the desire, to watch her. I think partly because I always thought she was pretty and hot, and good in bed. I started wanting to see what other men would think. I also know that we had a period when I was ill and could not really screw her how she wanted (hard), and that made me start thinking about 'surrogates' doing her for me.
We used toys and one favorite of hers was a rather big dildo/vibe. A dick-shaped tool that also vibrated. It was about 8-9 inches long. I would use that on her and she would go wild. I started asking her "wouldn't it feel even better, if it was real?" Interestingly, during sex she'd answer YES YES but immediately after if I asked, she'd say "no, that's just fantasy."
One night I just said "it's NOT just a fantasy for me, I would really like it.”
Well, she was upset-- angry and crying. Angry that I'd want that and crying thinking I didn't love her. We talked a LOT about it, after that, for me to explain and to ensure her that I did indeed love her.
One thing led to another in talks, over a long time. Over time, she went from asking WHY I wanted her to do it, to HOW it could happen. She would say things like “If I ever did that, I could not be with someone we knew, we’d have to be out of town with strangers.” Once she said “I don’t think I could ever cum with another man.” (She doesn’t cum easily, so I understood what she meant. Still it felt like clearly she was thinking about it, which I took as a positive step.)
She started getting very rational about it all; still not willing, but asking questions like how we could keep things safe, meaning both her physical health and our relationship, and wondering if I might get last-minute cold feet (I did LOL).
She still thought strongly that she couldn't do it. Her biggest objection was that she had never had "casual sex," she had only been with men she was in love with. I reminded her of something she already knew-- that I had been a real wild guy in my youth and had had lots of casual sex, so she could at least TRY it.
OK skipping a few things here but the big step was to get her to meet some men for "non-sexual" stuff like playing tennis, having dinner and so on. All of those dates FAILED. Men lied a lot. For example, a guy that was going to play tennis with her. She loves playing but I don’t play so she was interested to meet better players just for practice. The guy totally lied, couldn’t play tennis at all and on top of that started hugging her a bit too quickly and she freaked. I guess he thought the tennis was just HER excuse to meet and fuck; anyway he really misread things and she was not happy.
Eventually it helped me. After a few other failed dates, I had learned about a swing party (just a big party for like-minded people, not with swinging all set up) held monthly not too far away from us. She actually agreed quickly, saying with a party, she would not have a 1-1 relationship with any guy, and the disasters of the dates would be avoided. Lucky me!
That was my big break. She loves to dance, and guys asked her to dance a lot at the party. As the night went on, one guy stuck with her, and the songs got slower and slower. I can't go into full details too but will say the dancing got VERY HOT.
After a while, he had pulled her skirt up over her waist, so she was dancing with her panties exposed, and one hand of his was right on her butt. His other hand was under her blouse feeling her soft skin. I know he was hot and hard. At a break he asked me if I was OK and I said YES-- He even asked if he could kiss her...in fact I said "man, we are at a swing party, of course it's OK." (I did not know then that many swingers do not kiss, so I guess he was being polite to ask).
They were really getting hot, and had started kissing. When I could see her tongue out and in his mouth, I knew for sure she was very turned on. But suddenly, his wife comes in and gets him, and they have to leave. I thought BUMMER...but we drove home, got in bed, and I felt that her panties were SOAKING WET. It was the breakthrough moment. I put her hand down on her panties and said "feel how wet you got...your body was ready to fuck" and she admitted it was true!
She realized from that night that she could indeed have casual sex. I thought she might want to meet up with him again, but she said something like "no, if I really do this, I'd like it to be someone like my fantasy type."
So, that opened up a whole new area of talk! What type of man she would want!!! And that led to her letting me find someone and I DID....well that's later stories.
This all took several years from the first time I told her what I wanted until she did it. So-- be patient, that’s my key advice!

Kftnnc, ANOTHER well-written and informative story about your journey toward sharing her with others! Your comment that there is NO "magic answer" to the question of HOW to convince a woman to become a shared wife is exactly correct! The dynamics in every relationship are as varied and unique as the individuals themselves! That is part of what makes reading about YOUR experiences so interesting. Comparing and contrasting your experience with ours provides some entertaining insights into the world of hotwives! AND, of course, your final piece of advice to those who would like to convince their partners to become "shared" is right on target! Be PATIENT! I might add another bit of advice to that. Communicate! Share thoughts, dreams, fantasies...openly and honestly, without judgement or fear of being judged.

And, when you succeed, IF you succeed, prepare for the ride of your life!

Awesome story!

We are older now, but not too long after we started dating and before we were married, my current wife and I had some fun sharing experiences. After about 4 or 5 years she decided that she had enough strange cock. We got married settled into a regular life. I’ve always been honest with her about fact that I like to get with other men occasionally for oral fun. She always said she doesn’t mind because she knew I wasn’t going gay, just having a little fun. This fact didn’t happen till later in life. Now after 20 years she finally asked if she could help me with her participation, in my meetings with other men. I said she certainly could and that she could do anything she felt comfortable doing when I met another guy.
Well a couple days ago I had a guy over to help fix something around the house, and when we finished I was sucking his dick for helping, and she came in and proceeded to help me blow him, then got topless and fed him her tits while I finished him off. She didn’t fuck him, but it looks like she’s back in the game again.

Lets hear those other stories.

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